


Undeserved

by JediDryad



Category: Star Wars Legends - All Media Types
Genre: Dysfunctional Relationships, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Mara's not much better, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension, just unresolved, luke is a mess, we need to talk but we won't
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-04
Updated: 2018-06-04
Packaged: 2019-05-18 04:59:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14846241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JediDryad/pseuds/JediDryad
Summary: This gift to frangipani is an unofficial, and absolutely apocryphal sequel to the delightfully hot and UST filled Counterpressure. This is set somewhere between The Crystal Star and Black Fleet Crisis.





	Undeserved

**Author's Note:**

  * For [frangipani](https://archiveofourown.org/users/frangipani/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Counterpressure](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7578880) by [frangipani](https://archiveofourown.org/users/frangipani/pseuds/frangipani). 



> Frangipani’s writing is very inspiring. It got me writing fanfic again and that has been a lovely addition to my life.
> 
> When I read Counterpressure, I knew that this Luke and Mara had a long path in front of them before reaching any sort of happy ending. I was also pretty sure there was no way they’d get there without at least one more messy, unresolved encounter.
> 
> So, as part of the effort to do my part in the noble mission to fill the galaxy with angsty smut, I wrote one.
> 
> This is an unofficial, and absolutely apocryphal sequel to Counterpressure set somewhere between The Crystal Star and Black Fleet Crisis.
> 
> It’s also the first time I’ve written smut with any detail, so please be gentle.
> 
> ****

Luke couldn’t remember exactly what the reception was for, some sort of treaty or trade deal. He’d never been good at this stuff, but he knew he was worse than usual these days. Leia had been very clear that the presence of the Jedi Master was necessary to lend legitimacy to the new treaty, and Luke had been equally certain that she was lying through her teeth. She wanted him on Coruscant so she could make sure he was alright. Slim chance of that, but if he hadn’t come, she would only worry more.

He knew that fiasco on Crseih station a few weeks ago had made it obvious to her that he was not dealing well, but he could also tell she wasn’t sure how to handle that. Neither was he. The academy weighed on him as though the whole moon of Yavin were pressing him into the ground. The future of the Jedi was up to him alone. Anytime he thought he’d found someone to make the journey easier, he’d been proven painfully wrong.

So here he was in his robes, lightsaber prominently displayed on his belt. He hoped that being the wise jedi master would allow him some eccentricities so he didn’t have to meet anyone’s standards of diplomacy. After the necessary pleasantries, he’d been able to stand in a corner near one of the side entrances to the hall relatively undisturbed, so far at least.

Like a ceremonial guard or even a decorative statue. 

His lips twisted unpleasantly at the thought. No one here would ever believe the gang at Tosche Station had once nicknamed him Wormie because he’d never been able to sit still.

As the evening wore on, the tone in the room started to shift. Then there was a sudden peal of laughter off to his left and the volume grew noticeably. It was as though that one guest had given everyone else permission to drop their pretenses and just party.

Luke looked up at the intricate old chrono over the buffet tables. Yes, it was definitely far enough into the night for this. The speeches were over. The food had been served. All the necessary, diplomatic networks had been connected. And enough alcohol had been consumed for beings to loosen up considerably. 

He’d remembered receptions like this back when he’d been with Rogue Squadron. They’d been a lot more fun then, especially when Janson dragged a reluctant Hobbie into some sort of mischief. He had been unprepared for what happened when diplomats ran out of necessary protocol. Things could get much wilder than one would think.

But that wasn’t an option for the Jedi Master.

He managed to pick Leia out of the crowd across the room. Han was standing next to her with a slightly pained expression on his face. He was fussing with his collar. Luke expected they would leave before long. Maybe he could get away with sneaking off sooner. He did a scan of the room. He didn’t sense any danger.

What he did sense…

He whirled around at the familiar presence just off to his right and froze, hood slipping off in the process.

He hadn’t known Mara would be at this thing even though he’d known she was on planet. She’d been shielding and he’d been giving her the distance she obviously wanted.

From the look on her face, he could tell she had hoped he wouldn’t notice her: that she wouldn’t be here at all if she’d known he was coming.

He knew he was staring, but he couldn’t make himself look away. It had been months since that night on Yavin, and Luke couldn’t get rid of the heavy ache he felt whenever he thought of it or her. 

He still wasn’t sure why she had come that night. It had been a disaster. They’d said such horrible things to each other and then they’d played out those feelings in some sort of grotesque imitation of lovemaking. To have been attracted to Mara for so long and then have it play out like that. He couldn’t imagine coming back from it. 

 

She hadn’t spoken to him since, but she haunted him anyway: the softness of her skin, the trembling pulse point on her neck, the way she’d flowed under him like molten rock as he pressed her into his sleeping pallet. He couldn’t shake the memory of an essential sweetness in her masked bitterly with her desire to make it all mean nothing. 

But he’d hurt her, and betrayed himself. He’d given into his worst impulses in that lie he’d told her. He couldn’t imagine coming back from that either.

If she turned and walked away as if she’d never noticed him, it would be no less than he deserved.

She contemplated him briefly, lips pursed into a flat line. After an eternity, she shrugged a little and walked towards him with practiced nonchalance.

She was in a long black strapless gown, billowing skirt sliced halfway up the right thigh. Even he could tell was it generic enough to be utterly forgettable. It was the dress of a woman who didn’t want to draw undue attention to herself.

As far as he was concerned, it wasn’t working.

“Good evening, Master Skywalker,” she said, hand extended formally to greet him as the journeyman trader she was these days: professional, precise, distant.

“Mara,” he replied, his mouth full of cotton as he took her hand.

Her small smile was not particularly friendly.

“I trust all is well at the Jedi Academy?”

Was she really going to play it out like this?

“Come on Mara,” he answered, “you hate small talk.”

Her eyebrows rose at his words as if to say ‘have it your way then’ and she dropped his hand.

“It would hardly be the first thing I’ve hated but done anyway.” she replied, and the smile turned acid.

Luke sucked in a breath.

“Okay, I deserved that.”

The smile disappeared entirely.

“Discussions about what you deserve will not end well for you, Skywalker.”

Now, that felt like a bit much.

“I’m not going to take everything you dish out.” he warned, feeling much less numb than he had a minute before.

Her laugh was decidedly unfriendly as she stepped in close so he could hear her over the rowdy crowd.

Diplomats. 

“Do you plan to challenge me to a duel? Your sister would be horrified. We’re celebrating peace and renewed business opportunities.”

A glance at the room around them put that description of the event seriously in doubt, and Luke let a cynical chuckle escape him.

He knew Mara was baiting him. She’d always worked to put him on edge. It was working.

“Well that would be tough since you don’t have your lightsaber.” he returned, more anger in his voice than he expected.

He had noticed its absence when he first saw her. He thought it had bothered him that she wore it without finishing her training. The rejection of seeing her without it was much worse.

“You’re certain of that?”

He felt his eyes go wide as he pulled back to look her up and down.

Where...?

His gaze returned to her face just in time to see a gleam of triumph in her eyes as her smug peel of laughter rang through him like a Chandrilan carillon.

Force, she was beautiful.

“You’d like to know, wouldn’t you?” She raised her eyebrows as she drifted out the exit behind him.

Luke fought to catch his breath.

She was a study in contradictions. Her sense felt prickly and he figured there was no way to avoid her poisoned barbs if he got too close. She wasn’t going to let him hurt her again and she didn’t care if she hurt him in self defense.

But there was still that tangled storm she couldn’t conceal from him and the suggestive glint in her eye that made his heart pound nearly out of his chest. He remembered the way she’d melted in his arms, molded to him like she was meant be there.

He surveyed the room to see if he would be missed, immediately snorted under his breath at the very thought, and followed her to the corridor.

It was empty. The raucous laughter from inside the banquet hall felt distant.

“What do you want, Skywalker?” the tone was dismissive.

She leaned against the wall across the passage, eyes downward as she checked her comlink for messages. Everything about her communicated disinterest.

And yet she’d clearly been waiting for him.

She’d left, but she hadn’t gone. She didn’t want him around, but she wouldn’t go away. She never went away for good, even when staying was clearly a terrible idea.

Luke felt his head spin a little at his observations. She had him off balance, alright. She seemed to like him there.

“You knew you wouldn’t be getting me at my best that night,” he said. He struggled with breathing again as he stepped closer.

“So soon after Callista left? You had to know, you wouldn’t be seeing the calm Jedi Master.”

She put the comlink back in a pocket he couldn’t have imagined the dress having.

“And you’re a calm jedi tonight?”

“No,” he had to admit. There was no serenity in him tonight.

“But then you like it like that,” he blurted out as the realization formed .” You like it when I hurt. It gives you something, like an Orbalisk.”

Her eyes blew wide and he shrank back in horror at what he had just said. What was wrong with him? He’d just called her a parasitic insect for Force sake!

Then she shook her head with exasperation and he could sense that frenetic storm again as she stepped in close.

“I hate the Jedi Master.”

Her vehemence ignited in him.

Before thought could register, his lips were on hers and his hands were tangled in her hair, dislodging pins from her updo as he wound his fingers in the threads of fire. He felt her smile against his mouth as she slid her arms around him under his robe.

He gloried in the feel of Mara melting against him again. Just as the last time, he’d never imagined she would become so pliant under his fingers, so open to his lips and tongue. It was dizzying, like too much oxygen. 

With a moan, he stepped her back and pressed her against the ornately carved wall she’d been leaning against. His lips drifted across her cheekbone working slowly towards the curve of her neck. Her breathing was erratic as his as he traced her body with his hands.

Under the pounding of his heart in his ears, the noise from the party seemed to grow nearer and Luke realized how exposed they were in the hallway. Presences were floating towards them down the corridor, but no one had recognized them yet.

Quickly, he spun the Force into a shield around them. He reached out and gently touched already muddled minds and redirected them away from the beings wrapped around each other against the wall. It wasn’t wise to do this here, but he felt confident he could split his focus long enough to satisfy them both.

“No,” Mara muttered against the side of his face, anger threading through the haze of desire.

She pulled a hand free and ran it across the woodwork next to her. He heard a click as she opened a hidden panel and then yanked him roughly into the passageway behind her, locking the panel back in place. Low lighting illuminated the space immediately around them, but Luke barely noticed as he pulled her to him again. She clung, grabbing him snugly by the edges of his robe as his lips bruised hers and his tongue tangled in her mouth.

After a moment, they broke for breath again.

“Secret passage?” he murmured, lips and tongue tracing her ear.

“Private,” she gasped as he dragged his teeth down her neck.

“You like to keep things private,” he mumbled.

“Shut up,” was her lazy response and she yelped as he found the pulse point that had haunted his dreams. He soaked in the little wimpers she made as he licked at that sensitive spot. He was cataloguing each of them carefully for memory’s sake.

His lips drifted across her collarbone, tongue flashing in the indent near her shoulder. Her fingers tightened on his shirt and he could feel her skin was hot and flushed against his face.

She trembled, and he slid his hands down the front of her dress, tracing the silk with his fingers until he found a fold of fabric. With a tug, her structured bodice was loose around her and her breasts were in his hands.

She arched forward as he ran his rough fingers over the soft skin, stroking her nipples to hardness. He looked back up at her face and smiled as he took in her closed eyes, flushed cheeks and parted lips.

But, even as she gasped and writhed under his touch, he could feel her control. He could sense the borders of her permission. With every caress, he knew he was getting exactly as much as she was willing to offer. No more.

No less.

The whisper was in his mind.

He pulled back, surprised and saw her eyes flash.

“You think you could resist if I offered something you didn’t deserve?” 

He shook his head.

“No,” he admitted, brushing his fingers across her cheek and kissing her again. He knew he’d never be able to resist her. He didn’t want to.

Silently, he pushed back against a rush of shame that reminded him there was nothing real about this. He didn’t have Mara’s trust, her friendship. Its loss was a shard of glass worrying a hole in him and he could see no way to make it better, but he didn’t have the strength to walk away.

If this was all she would ever give him, he would take it and rely on her to show him when he was done. Asking for more was impossible.

“What do you want?” he asked huskily, pulling back to look her in the eyes. In the dim light, something in her face cracked. For an instant he was certain he saw the same brokenness he faced in the mirror every morning. Then, like a mirage, it smoothed away, and her taunting look was back.

“To come, Skywalker. What did you think?”

His own bark of laughter was less cynical than he expected it to be.

“I can arrange that.”

He could practically hear her eyes roll, but since her exasperation was cut off by a gasp as he took her right nipple into his mouth, he was not particularly bothered by it.

Mara had not planned this. She’d been reluctant to go to the gala in the first place. Imperial Palace was not exactly her hangout of choice most days, but her trading company was young and there were too many possible business connections to be made to justify staying away just because of her own issues.

She’d been trying to slip out when Luke’s sense had swept the room and honed in on her, like a beacon. She should have burned him down the minute he opened his mouth, but the hungry look in his eyes had been irresistible, and so here they were, in the old staging passage, as though they were courtly teenagers hiding their forbidden ardor.

This was a terrible idea. She was stronger than this. Luke had been very clear the last time they saw each other how little he’d actually believed in her. He’d upheld her worst fears about herself: that she was selfish and mercenary, and incapable of committing to anything that mattered. From anyone else, she could have fluffed it off with ease. From him, it mattered more than she’d ever imagined it could. That was unexpected.

But then, so was the sudden passion that made this old passageway necessary. She couldn’t have imagined the way his impatience would jolt through her and leave her breathless. His hot mouth on her breasts, his hand working its way up her exposed thigh. She’d just confessed to wanting an orgasm in his arms. Kriff, she was going to regret this - later.

He straightened up and pressed her into the wall again, lips claiming hers feverishly. Memories flashed through her as she caught the fragrance of the rough wood panel behind her. She’d spent so much time against this wall, watching targets through the peephole, waiting for her moment. She’d been focussed and completely in control, steeling herself for blood and death and the nightmares that would follow. 

This space had never been a place of pleasure, and yet, here she was almost floating under Luke’s ministrations. His every move was passion and tenderness. The juxtaposition of memory and experience should have been nauseating, but somehow Luke had driven all of that out. 

Anger flashed through her. She could feel the desire for things she could never have growing stronger by the minute. She couldn’t trust him. He’d admitted as much. She could not allow herself to be drawn in by this sense of safety. It was false.

His finger slid across her through her underwear and she could feel his surprised pleasure at how wet she was. 

Surprised? Farmboy. What was he expecting?

He curled that finger into her through the lace and whatever she was thinking flew out of her mind. Coherence was becoming impossible, like trying to weld micro wires in a high grav simulator.

He pulled back and Mara waited for him to go for his belt buckle. It was time to get this over with so she could think again. But as she met his eyes, she realized Luke had other plans. With an incomprehensible expression on his face, he slid to his knees in front of her, his gaze boring into hers. 

That hungry look was back.

She gulped involuntarily and a quick, smug smile crossed his face - irritating. Then he leaned in and pressed his lips to her exposed thigh, slowly following the path his fingers had taken moments before. But, unlike his teasing fingertips, each brush of his lips shot to her core.

It was torturous. Not knowing where his touch would fall next, she felt her whole body become sensitized. His lips were slow and scorching.

Maddeningly slow.

Mara dug her fingernails into the wall behind her.

Her shallow breaths hitched as she moaned his name not sure if she was encouraging or begging.

She felt him smile against her inner thigh, his breath hot on the scrap of lace between her legs. 

It was in the process of removing that scrap of lace that he discovered the lightsaber, strapped to the back of her left thigh right where the dress billowed rather than clung. She might have forgotten about it.

His chuckle sounded relieved and he seemed to relax a little as he slid the slip of fabric down past her knees.

Mara had only a moment to wonder about his reaction before he began to stroke her in earnest.

Her mind went blank as his tongue slid gently along her folds, the tiny nodules catching pleasure points all along her inner lips. The spike of sensation tore a strangled shriek from her, punctuated by a spasm that ripped through her body as she arched into his face. She fell back against the wall with a whimper utterly bewildered by the rush of heat and electricity that was quickly spiralling beyond her control.

All the carefully competent couplings she’d been part of could not have prepared her for the heat of Luke’s mouth and his expert tongue rolling exquisitely across her clit like an achingly precise massage. 

She swore on an exhale as he found another sensitive spot she didn’t even know she had, couldn’t possibly have found on her own.

She heaved in another breath, trembling as she felt him greedily lap up her moisture as though it were his prize for excellent work.

Kriff, she never wanted him to stop.

Each flick and stroke touched off nerve endings, referred pleasure to other parts of her body until it felt like that single tip of his tongue was everywhere at once. The sensations crashed and collided over her, prickling hot and cold across her skin: electrical impulses seeking to ground themselves and finding nowhere for it. They retraced their paths in a cycle that might never end.

She let out a keening moan as some part of her wound tight faster than she could have believed possible. He slid a finger inside and she clenched around him shamelessly. He added a second and she knew she could not hold. 

He continued to lick and stroke as she moaned incoherently, almost vibrating. Then his lips closed around her clit one more time and she lost it. She screamed Luke’s name as the thread snapped and her pleasure uncoiled, spreading from her core to her fingertips in microseconds, and continuing faster and faster until light and colour flashed before her closed eyes, and ecstasy flooded every inch of her, carrying her away to some blissful place beyond words or thought.

The shrieks of pleasure filling the space were nothing compared to what flowed through the Force into Luke’s mind. He held his place until Mara’s spasms subsided and then he let her skirt slide back into place and took a deep breath. He could feel waves of residual pleasure flowing out from her as he schooled his heartbeat back to something normal.

He glanced up at her wavering above him, her lips curved upwards on her flushed face. He smiled with relief as it occurred to him he’d gotten one thing right this evening at least.

Boneless, Mara slid down the wall to the floor. Luke eased her descent, his hold shifting from her hips to around her waist as he followed her down.

He felt her return to herself slowly. Her breaths becoming longer and deeper, the shudders receding.

Unwilling to let go, he buried his face in her abdomen and sighed as she began to run her fingers through his hair. He noticed she’d bent her left knee to keep the lightsaber off the floor.

“Wouldn’t do to hit the activator accidentally,” she mumbled in response to his unformed query.  
He nodded against her and let a hand drift down to stroke her other thigh, bared by the slit in her dress. It was a casually intimate gesture and he expected her to tell him to stop. He knew the haze wouldn’t last.

Instead, she let out a rare unguarded burst of laughter.

“What’s that thing Solo likes to call Palpatine?” she asked out of nowhere.

“Old Yellow Eyes,” Luke murmured, enjoying the vibrations of her laughter against his ear.

“Right, well ‘Old Yellow Eyes’ would have been mortified by this.” she chuckled again and then grew serious.

“Serves him right.”

He could feel a wave of triumph radiating from her. 

Luke’s throat tightened as realization dawned: where they were, what this place had been for her. He’d impatiently blundered them right into... 

Once again, Yoda had been right about his inability to pay attention to the present and the people around him. 

He felt like he should say something, but nothing seemed adequate.

“Shut up.” she muttered anyway, still chuckling. She tugged at his hair a bit more forcefully than was necessary. She was pleased with her new memories, he realized. He grinned against her, peaceful for the first time in months. Something in her presence, satisfied and exorcising past demons in his arms, made him feel whole.

If things had been different, he would have suggested making a list of all the places in the palace, in the galaxy, that he could improve for her in this way.

If things had been different.

She trembled slightly again and then her presence closed in on itself like a door to a bright room being slammed in his face. The moment was broken. 

He craned his neck to meet her eyes, but she wasn’t looking at him. Quickly, she pushed him away and got to her feet.

“Mara...”

Luke could feel a fresh turmoil rolling off her as she tugged her dress back to respectability. 

“See you, Skywalker.” she said and Luke could have sworn he saw a glitter in her eyes and heard a tightening of her voice before she strode off into the darkness of the passageway, shields suddenly unbreakable.

He wanted to chase after her. He wanted to fold her into his arms and just hold on to her and whatever it was that had just happened, but he knew he would never find her in this labyrinth of tunnels that she’d memorized as a child. And he knew he was unwelcome. He’d just been given all she was willing to share.

Luke sat in the dim light for a long time before clicking the panel open.


End file.
